Year In Review: 33

2022 was “La edad de Cristo” year. Welcome to the Catholic-Latino-family expectations that you live up to the legacy of the “son of God” at 33. 

No pressure…

2022 was already going to be the most important year of my life. So, ::shrug:: may as well embrace the monumentality of it all de una vez.

The preparation for this mothering-thing began much before 2022. But, last year I went into full gear to be the best version of myself for Eva and for her arrival. I went to therapy. I read the books. I did the exercise. I adjusted the diet. I cleared the schedule. I fixed up the house. I practiced the rituals. I vowed to live the parts of pregnancy and motherhood that I could control with intentionality, authenticity, and ease. And with love. With so much love. The bell hooks kind of love I wrote about at the beginning of 2022. The type of love I most want to give and receive: “not the fluffy kind of love, but a love that invokes action. That begs for justice. That requires effort and consistency. A combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect, and trust.“

And that’s what I did. Yes, I gave myself and Eva that Love in Action. AND, I also gave (and felt!) that love in the other areas of my life. Unconditional love. Tough love. Tear-evoking love. Laugh-out-loud love. The love of absolute presence. Love through words, gifts, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. I felt the love of leaving and gave the love of letting go. I received the love of feedback and of forgiveness. I witnessed the love of their —and my— honest truth. 

Love is what got us through the company Julián worked at shutting down in the middle of our pregnancy. Through the unhealed trauma unearthed from hosting my grandmother during postpartum. Through the unique loneliness of being a new mom without a mother, myself. And through the shifts within my work (and within me in relation to it) as I transitioned into motherhood.

What is one to DO with so much love?! Accept it. Be humbled by it. Revel in it. And recommit to more.

I’m still in awe at the amount of free-flowing, love-filled-everything that Eva coming into the world brought into our lives. It’s overwhelmingly beautiful. I cry at least once a week in gratitude for it all. And, it also makes me a bit sad to think this outpouring doesn’t always touch those who are not welcoming new life.

Why?

Let’s extend oodles of Love in Action when they get a promotion or get laid off. When they seal that deal or break that cycle. When they win that client or lose that battle. I want to do more of that. Love in Action came in 2022 to teach me that the mantra is here to stay. Pretty appropriate takeaway for the “Jesus Birthday” year, no?

As for my 2023 phrase, it’s: Take the TIME. The time to do the thing, fully. To be, wholeheartedly. The time off, the time to heal, the time to do it well and say it best. This year, I want to give myself, people, projects and passions the time they deserve.

Another mantra I live by is “Eramos felices, y lo sabíamos.” In 2023 I want to take the time to bask in the joy, too. 

Thank you for reading, my dudes!