Year In Review: 29
Twenty-nine was an age that I wore differently. 2018 felt, truly, like I was building a foundation for everything to come. It was the beginning of the rest of my life.
And although my breakthroughs may be unique, I’m not the only one who’s felt the momentousness of the transition from 29 to 30. We’re culturally wired to set artificial boundaries on our time and we have a bias towards round numbers. Add to that the expectation that the end of your 20s is a farewell to youthful indiscretion and it’s easy for anyone to understand why the quotidian act of turning 30 feels so consequential. Yet just because a benchmark is arbitrary doesn’t make it harmful. For me, the impending milestone of the Big 3-0 was a nudge towards adopting better habits and finally owning who I am. Research by Alter & Hal Hershfield, an expert on the psychology of time from the University of California’s Anderson School of Management, highlights why I may have felt such urgency around this birthday by explaining that we’re profoundly affected when we sense milestones approaching, causing people to experience a “crisis of meaning.”
In my case crisis is an overstatement (or is it?), but it’s undeniable that the tectonic shifts I both chose and chanced into during 2018 made 29 an uncomfortable challenging turning point. Now, I know closure is a myth, but I deeply crave nice and neat endings to the old to make way for the new, so I’ll take any chance at closure I can get. I saw 29 as an opportunity to demarcate the end of an era in order to architect a new future ahead.
Hence, much of last year was spent pondering: What did I no longer want to take to the next decade of my life? Into the roles awaiting me in my 30s? What traditions do I hold true? What are my priorities? What do I want to be known for professionally? Who do I most value and how am I showing up for them? What bad habits, limiting beliefs and stories am I telling myself that don’t serve me? What are my needs and how am I meeting them? Am I ready to pour my whole self into what I’ve been building?
I’m still contemplating these questions, but here’s the progress I’ve made towards answering them:
I transitioned out of roles where I’m required to lead collectives and “handle it” for others in order to practice self-regulation, self-reflection and self-care and make room for increased intentionality and alignment.
This first major pivot allowed for focus. This focus resulted in redefining myself professionally and choosing the “tracks” I want to pursue over the course of my life: Communicator. Facilitator. Social Entrepreneur. All of this ushered a successful year for Pulso, the digital organizing platform I co-founded and lead aimed at increasing political power for Latino voters across the country.
I basked in the great privilege and great responsibility of being able to control my time. Freedom of this sort is a luxury I never knew I wanted and now can’t fathom life without. This new “lifestyle” ended the notion of “work-life balance” and replaced it with the pursuit of work-life integration.
I traveled to Asia for the first time and was marveled by my experiences in China and Japan. I boarded planes for nine other trips in 2018 which took me from Playa del Carmen to Oakland and in between for work, weddings, conferences and getaways. I also explored new parts of Florida which is always nice. 2018 was the year I cemented the geoflexible life I’ve always wanted.
I moved. This was one of the most stressful yet joyful occurrences of 2018. Purging things, changing spaces and creating a new place to call home was exhausting but also made way for perks that have made daily life more pleasant to live.
I increased my investment in what I want to see grow and am now much more committed to the communities, issues and pastimes I care about. I also allowed for spiritual exploration across practices and disciplines to take higher priority.
I started working with a coach. I knew 2018 was going to be intense and I also knew that to achieve the progress I wanted, I needed help. Thanks to the The Coaching Fellowship I was matched with an exceptional woman who’s helping me better understand myself, the impact I want to make, and how to harness my strengths to get there.
I was more vulnerable. True power isn’t about being impermeable, it’s about interacting with others without diluting who you are. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. Sounds obvious, but it’s really hard for this little ENFJ over here. Showing up more fully was a priority for 2018 and although it’s made me uneasy and I’ve got a ways to go, the conscious decision of being more me has been an incredible fertilizer for my relationships. I was a better partner, family member and friend. I trusted myself more. I made hard promises and kept them and was more authentic than at any other stage of my life.
I’ve been hurrying up to slow down and I’ve been a lot of people before arriving at myself.
I’m finally here.
I’m finally her.
I’m finally me.
Just as Michelle Obama’s been declaring with her book, I too (want to compare myself to her because of course) am still Becoming. There’s more work to do. Patience. Battling the urge of returning to old temperaments. Managing unrealistic expectations of myself and others. Believing I’m enough. Saying powerful no’s. Being more militant with my time and more rigorous in my intent…and the list goes on. But I’ll get there.
2018 was the Year to Bloom and Bloom I did.
2019 will be a Landmark Year.
30 is the age where I take the Leap.
And I have never been more certain that I’m ready.